Mad About Multiples!

Back to school: Ben and Lily's first few weeks of kindergarten is a mixed bag

On Tuesday, August 25th, my twins Ben and Lily had a big day - they headed to kindergarten at our neighborhood public school. It was an exciting morning! The First Day of School Fairy came (thank you for the idea Makes and Takes!) and brought the kids new lunchboxes, thermoses, some craft projects and Peanut M&Ms for an after school treat. We jetted off on scooters to settle in and get introduced. It was a bit disorganized - no true kindergarten orientation and we got the schedule for the morning at 10:30 as we were leaving...a nice memory, would have been nice to have that BEFORE the morning began! But all in all, a successful initial start.

Ben and Lily are in separate classes and Jeff took Lily to her class, while I started in Ben's. I teared up a little as Ben's teacher read "The Kissing Hand" (one of our favorite books that we've had for a long time, courtsey of Nana Sandy)...not really because they were going to kindergarten, but it was sort of a twin parent moment. I wanted to soak in Ben's first day, but I was also a bit sad to be missing Lily's first moments. It is always hard to feel pulled in two different directions with twins (oh, the guilt!). But, as it turned out, Ben's teacher was quick to turn us parents loose, while Lily's teacher took her time, so I was able to luckily make it over to Lily's class and hear her teacher read "The Kissing Hand" as well (and to get my special kiss!). Having Ava there as well complicated things just a bit, but she was very patient and excited to see what this kindergarten was all about, so it was fine.

Topic Week: Back-to-School (recap)

Legions of multiples have headed back to school this month. Some went to preschool. Others to kindergarten. Others to grade school and beyond. Some are in separate classes while others have been kept together. From parent participation schools to public schools to catholic schools, our multiples are out there learning. It's been a learning experience for us parents as well. Some of us can't bear to be without our children at our side, while others are doing the "drop and flee". We're learning the ins and outs of new schools. Some of us are in our childrens' classrooms, poking around and staying involved. Others of us are working full time. A few of us public school kindergarten moms are shocked - shocked! - that as soon as we arrive with our children at school, the doors slam shut and we have no idea what's going on inside that classroom. Some children recount their entire day, while others remain mute. Some children divulge information in fragments.

So this week on Mad About Multiples, since our children are back in school, we're using those precious extra hours to talk about back-to-school.

We are hoping to get a new post up every day... we'll see!

Original post to Mad About Multiples.

Recap September 22, 2009

Whew - We got through back-to-school! Some of us sent twins off to preschool while some of us sent twins to kindergarten. Either way, It's nice to be back into a routine!

Here's what we discussed:

Pam loves her co-op preschool, worms and all: Back to preschool, Yeah or Boo.

Amy isn't sure who loves preschool more: Who Loves Preschool More, Me or Them?

Akemi second guesses her every move: Making the Least Bad Choice: 4-year-olds in Kindergarten.

Daphne quickly gets use to curbside drop-off: The Convenience Factor of Preschool.

Amy M. likes to be busy: Two Parent Participation Preschools? Call me crazy.

Linsey looks back: Ben and Lily's First Few Weeks of Kindergarten is a Mixed Bag.

Linda is relieved: One Year's Reprieve.

Nora LOVES back-to-school: Back to School? Back to the Museums!!!

Original post to Mad About Multiples.

Grade School Twins: Separate or Together?

Is Separating Twins Really the Answer? @ Yahoo! Video

Read the full post over on Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

Twin Baby Chicks Born

Just in time for Easter, twin baby chicks were born at my kids' preschool. It is only fitting, as there are 8 sets of twins at our school this year! Both are black with yellow dots on their heads and are eating and sipping water in their new home with a 'mother light'.

We will be welcoming them in the science room, once Teacher Konne brings them into school tomorrow. They will be able to be handled in about a week...gently.

Infertility treatments leading to twins, triplets...octuplets?

It is all over the news today - octuplets (that is 8 babies, for those of you who are trying to count here...) born to a California single mom...who reportedly already has 6 kids. Wowie!

My own twins were born as a result of fertility treatments. At 30 years old, I was 2 years out from cancer treatment and, although I had the go-ahead from my oncology doctors to try to get pregnant, my body did not seem to be responding. After almost losing my life to lymphoma, I was looking for a fast track to motherhood. Tracking my cycle on a daily basis was incredibly taxing and I was in "carpe diem" mode. I wanted this so badly! So I headed back to Stanford, this time not to the cancer center, but to the fertility center. My husband and I underwent all the tests and everything was fine. The theory was that my egss were "old" due to the chemo I underwent. I did clomid for 3 months - nothing. We decided to go for bigger guns and do IUI (intrauterine insemination) with Gonal-F injectable drugs. The first cycle, my body finally responded. I had 9 - NINE! - eggs ready to go. 5 of them looked to be a good size. As our doctor told us this news, my husband and I immediately agreed with her suggestion to abandon this cycle (well, we actually didn't abandon it, but they gave me the HSF shot to trigger ovulation early, being fairly certain that nothing would probably take, or if anything, one would take). We didn't want to be put in the situation of having to choose between selective reduction (what a lovely term) or to carry way too many babies.  Not for me, thank you very much. As predicted, nothing took. The next cycle, we had 2 good eggs and they both took. Voila - twins!

It turns out that maybe I didn't "need" fertility treatments after all. I did respond very well to the drugs. Maybe it was a matter of getting a kick-start, after having been in temporary menopause from the chemo. Maybe it was a matter of relaxing. Who knows. But I had a surprise pregnancy 19 months after the twins were born. It was a beautiful thing and now I have 3 children - if you would have told me when I began fertility treatments that I would have 3 kids 3-years-old and under, I would have said you were crazy. But things happen. Life happens. (We're done now, by the way.)

I don't know the details about this octuplet mom. I don't know how she got herself in the situation or what I would do if I were in her shoes (although, for me, that is tough to imagine...). There actually are people who have high-order multiple births naturally, without fertility treatments - rare, but true. I'm guessing she did undergo fertility treatments - there are some rumors that a sperm donor was used - and maybe she is one of those people who responds very, very well to those drugs. Here's what I do know - I know that she will need A LOT of help.

I can see both sides of the ethical debate that is brewing. On the one hand, one adult taking care of 14 children (do the math!) seems completely irresponsible. She CANNOT do it on her own, so who will be paying for it? The state? Corporations who sponsor her? A TV show? Then again, why is it any of my business - any of the public's business. Having children should be a personal affair. But then, how can it be private and personal when it will affect - and burden - the public?

See MomLogic's article looking for more information about this mom, as well as Silicon Valley Moms Group network posts here on LA Moms Blog and here on Chicago Moms Blog.

Original Mad About Multiples post. Linsey can be found at her family blog Me Too You and at Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

Make Mine a Double

Mom of premie twins and author of "Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay", Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, has joined Mommy Track'd with a new weekly column called "Make Mine a Double."  Today's column is about Angelina Jolie and her life as a new mom of twins (plus eighteen?). My own twins' birth coincided with the arrival of Julia Roberts' twins and I always felt she would made a good addition to my Gemini Crickets playgroup :)  There always seem to be celebrity twin-moms-to-be in the news these days, don't there? Anyway, take a read - Stefanie is really hilarious! 

Being Called "The Twins"

How many times do you hear people call your twins "The Twins" or "The Boys" or "The Girls"? How many times do you call them that...yourself?

Having a twin sister myself and being the mother of boy-girl twins, I have a certain perspective on this. Basically, I am not a fan of these terms and consciously try to avoid them. (Although, I do use the term "The Girls" to refer to my girl twin and her younger sister, so perhaps it is slightly inevitable...it is so easy and cute, let's face it!) You see, growing up, my sister and I tried very hard to assert our individual identities. And people constantly calling us "The Twins" or "The Girls" and not being able to tell us apart (even our aunts and uncles often mixed us up) - well, it really pissed us off.

So last week, while

The First Preschool Field Trip for the Twins

My boy-girl twins are now in pre-kindergarten. It is their last year of preschool. But today I've been thinking about some firsts in their preschool days. One pretty big milestone that I remember was their first ever preschool field trip that took place last spring. In the days and weeks leading up to it, I really thought this was going to be no big deal - well, it was a big milestone, but I honestly didn't think they would have any problems with it. From the photos, it looks like they had a great time, but...

Let me take you through the morning.

Writing Motherhood: First Words and Other Firsts

Today, we at Mad About Multiples will be joining a circle of other bloggers as we explore Writing Motherhood via the writing prompt: First Words and Other Firsts. We'll be throwing up posts throughout the day, so check back often for our take on firsts. If you have a twins-related "first" you'd like to share, please feel free leave a comment.

“First Words and Other Firsts: Open any baby diary and you will find whole pages devoted to firsts: first smile, first words, first friends, first birthday. Why are firsts so significant? Because they represent a beginning. Because they push us beyond what is familiar and comfortable. Because they jolt us out of the numbness or everyday life and bring us back to our primitive selves when we saw a world through a child’s eyes. Keeping in mind that first experiences do not end with babyhood, write about a first: the first day of kindergarten, the first day of college, the first grandchild. Or simply begin with the writing start “the first time” and write down the first thing that comes to mind.” 

Recent Events for Gemini Crickets

If you're a member of Gemini Crickets Parents of Multiples of Silicon Valley, you have no doubt taken part in some of the great events we have had lately:

Field Trip to the Palo Alto Junior Museum and Zoo:
This morning was a field trip to the Palo Alto Junior Museum and Zoo. From their website: The Palo Alto Junior Museum and Zoo is a kid's place to think, create and play. All Junior Museum and Zoo exhibits allow children to become physically involved and immerse themselves in the essence of life, to poke, to prod, to pull, to pick up, and to smell. The Zoo is home to more than 50 exotic and native animals, of which at least half are brought into classrooms as part of the Junior Museum and Zoo's science outreach program with local schools. Some of the animals include bobcats, raccoons, jungle bats, hedgehogs, ferrets, snakes, and an owl. 

I went with my 4.5 year old twins and my 2 year old. (My parents came along as well, although it is such a small place, that I could have easily managed it on my own - after all, I took all 3 kids on my own to Children's Fairyland in Oakland a couple of weeks ago and it was just fine.) There were many sets of twins there from Gemini Crickets and even a set of cute baby triplets! What fun! These two cuties wore their Gemini Crickets t-shirts to show off.

Dad's Panel at the New & Expectant Parent (NEP) Meeting:
This is always a lively meeting and this year it did not disappoint! We had three panelists - Dads to 10-month-old-twins, 16-month-old twins and 7-month-old twins (plus a 3-year-old). Christine from the NEP team provides the following summary: The attendees (a group of 25-30) had a lot of good questions--some were around scheduling (should you keep them on the same schedule and how do you do it), feeding the babies (breastfeeding, bottles, etc and how the dads can help when moms are breastfeeding), questions on what the first few months were like, & how to give older kids attention with twin babies at home. A quick highlight of some of the tips that seemed to resonate well with the Dads in the panel were:

• Accept all the help that is offered to you!  Don't turn down any help!
• Outsource wherever possible (house cleaning, self prep dinners, gardner, night nurse)
• Get the babies on the same schedule.  The Panel suggested to wake the other baby when one baby is awake.
• Make changes related to older children before the babies come--such as changing rooms, starting school or day care (so the older child does not associate it with the babies' arrival and can get adjusted to the change)
• Listen to the Dads—they are trying to help!  When they say to take a nap and they will care for the babies, take advantage of the time and take a nap!! 
• Ultimately, do what works for you and your family—it is different for everyone and can involve trial and error to figure out what will work best for you!! 

There is a full list (8 pages!) of the Dad's Tips from this meeting, available to Gemini Crickets members on Big Tent. If you are not a Gemini Crickets member and would like to join, click here to learn more.

Movie Nights to Mama Mia and Sex in the City:

Akemi reports: Ok, so the parking at Santana Row is awful most summer evenings, but after I finally found a place to park, I was happy to be mingling with Gemini Crickets moms and their friends and friends-of-friends. When I arrived, Carla, our movie night planner, was busy greeting everyone as they settled in for drinks under a canopy of oak trees at El Jardin Tequila Bar. We had just enough time to savor our drinks and some appetizers before heading for the movies. At the Sex and the City showing, I didn't talk much, but I enjoyed the night immensely. If not for these movie nights, I don't think I'd ever put aside the time to go out to the movies. Now I can proudly say that I've been to TWO movies this year. That's a huge accomplishment for a mom of twins!

Bocce Ball Social:

Co-President Sally reports: We had a great turn out at our Bocce Ball kick-off social with about 55 members attending, the majority bringing along their partners which is always fun. After a few drinks at the bar & plenty of socializing, the Bocce Ball staff gave us some instruction on how to play the game. Before we could get started, the food was served so we all tucked in to some delicious calamari, bruschetta & anti pasti. The pizzas were devoured and, as is always the case, there were not enough desserts! We took over four courts and all had a very entertaining time, some taking the game more seriously than others...guys!

A sample of our upcoming events include:

• New & Expectant Parents Meeting on Equipment on Tuesday, September 9th at 6:15pm at Saratoga Library - NOTE: prospective members are always welcome to join this meeting for free. Babies are welcome and dinner will be served!
• General Meeting on "Creating Resilient Families" (by Gloria Moskowitz-Sweet from Parents Place on Tuesday, September 9th at 7:30 pm at Saratoga Library
• Fall Family Picnic on September 21st (this is a members-only event - be sure to RSVP today, if you haven't already)

If you're not a member yet, join us today! Even if you can't make events easily (hey, we know how it is!), there is a great support system and network on our Big Tent group. Forum discussions, playgroups, newsletter articles and used clothing and equipment sales are just a few of the other benefits of membership with Gemini Crickets.

Slowing down as we head back to (co-op) school

Often I hear about summer ending, school starting again and moms having more time to themselves as a result, since their kids having been home all summer long. My family has chosen to be involved in a parent participation (co-op) preschool. And this year, I am a "triple parent," having all 3 kids in the school. I will be working 2 and sometimes 3 days per week in their classroom. This is how the classroom duties line up: my 4.5 year old twins will be in their class 4 afternoons a week (I have to work in the classroom 2 of those days - usually it is only once a week, but having twins....it is double the work for this mommy!) and my 2-year-old will in a 1 day a week class, in which I have to work once every other week in the classroom.

This might seem crazy or stressful -

Heard on Big Tent

Want to know what's going on in Gemini Crickets Parents of Multiples of Silicon Valley's online community (housed on Big Tent)? Here's a little sampling from this week - some juicy stuff!

• Another movie night "The Women" - some of the ladies have been getting together once a month to go for a drink and a movie. We've seen "Sex in the City" and "Mama Mia." I've gone to both and I KNOW I'll be making the next one. It is a fun getaway and new moms join us all the time.
• Getting toddlers to sleep in other places - two of our triplet moms are trading advice on this, with twin mommies chiming in too. Personally, my twins are now 4.5 yrs and I have a 2 yr old too. I find sleep is always changing for my three, so it is nice to have the group to ask "What do I do now???"
• For sale: Peg Perego Aria Twin Stroller - wow, this looks like it is in great condition...not like my strollers, which are pretty trashed at this point. I have 6 strollers, count them 6, strollers  (a double jogger, a double regular stroller, a single jogger, a single street, and 2 umbrella strollers), so I have been banned from stroller purchases... :(

Other discussions that are going on include:

• Nanny available
• Help! My twins keep biting each other
• Babysitter recommendations?
• Airplane travel suggestions
• Formula shopping tips
• Bouncing tips for new moms

Join us in the discussion!

Original Mad About Multiples post. When Linsey isn't reading and discussing on Big Tent, she's chasing her three kids 4 years and under at Me Too You.

Traveling with Twins + One: Finally Taking Adventures

I remember when I first found out I was pregnant with twins. We had recently gotten back from biking around France, visiting my twin sister in  St. John's, Newfoundland, running a marathon in Victoria, BC. We were adventurers. But I was duanted. I asked my husband: "How will I go to the grocery stores?" I couldn't imagine going anywhere, much less traveling. Then they were born - premies, plus my daughter had refux and cried for the first 7 months of her life. I simply got used to being at home. Really, at home. It was just so much easier. A wedding in Portland when the kids were about 6 months old? No can do. Vacation? Nope. Eventually, we became forced to travel to visit family. To L.A., where my in-laws live, for the babies' first Christmas, proved fairly successful actually. We found there were benefits to traveling - for instance, my son, 11 months old at the time (9 months adjusted) had just figured out how to sit up in bed, but couldn't lay back down (remember that?!) - anyway, sleeping in a pack-n-play instead of a crib helped him because the sides were soft. So we just let him cry a bit and figure it out. Who know how long that process would have taken if we had been home?

Soon after this and slowly, we started having some fun...

A Double Take at the Auction

I had been there early at the Camden Community Center to help set up the room for Gemini Crickets Annual Auction & Raffle. All afternoon, a group of us set up tables, decorated (it was a Hawaiian theme, so very beachy stuff), put up signs, set out all the auction display items, tested the audio system (did you know the Beach Boys have a Christmas album? I was sort of wishing for some Banana Pancakes ala Jack Johnson at some point, but was too busy to make a request of the DJ). I did step out to the 100 degree weather to my car (ugh...) to have a conference call with one of my clients, but that was pretty quick and then I was back to the set-up. Polly came back with sandwiches, apples and water. I took off back home for a couple hours with the kids, then was back at 5:30pm to do last minute stuff. Laura came in and poured a glass of champagne to help us finish setting up (woo hoo!). See? - It really is fun to volunteer! Yes, it was fun. And I have to say that the end result was pretty fantastic.

The doors opened at 7pm and pretty soon, I started to see the double takes happen. No, not about the fantastic prizes (although it was a fantastic list!), not about the beachy decor (which was very nice - thanks Oriental Trading Co). Robin was there. My sister. My twin sister. We didn't get a photo taken at the Auction together, but here is a photo of us at the Byington Winery, where we recently enjoyed a tour and tasting party won in last year's Auction!

The "Little Mommy" Effect of Boy-Girl Twins

I never thought about this particular aspect of having boy-girls twins until last year at a Gemini Crickets general meeting on kindergarten readiness - the tendency for the girl in the boy-girl twin relationship to "mother" her twin brother. Being a twin myself (I have an identical twin sister), I have sort of counted myself lucky in having boy-girl twins, because my sister and I definitely dealt with identity issues growing up. Being called "the twins" or "the girls," our aunts and uncles not knowing which one was which, being compared by family and friends (which one is smarter, prettier, a better eater, more coordinated, etc.) - despite everyone's best intentions, some of this is kind of inevitable. My sister and I are very, very close now, but went through a period of time where we consciously tried to be very different from each other to sort of find our own identities. This was, of course, during high school - when everyone tries to figure themselves out!

Anyway, I thought that the identity and dependency issues that twins often face would be less, if not non-existent, for boy-girl twins. After all, boys and girls can be so different from each other. They certainly look and dress differently, are often interested in different activities, naturally gravitate to having different friends, etc. So when the kindergarten readiness speaker was discussing whether or not and when to separate twins into different classes in school, I was surprised to hear that sometimes boy-girl twins do better being separated because the girl will tend to mother the boy, such that the boy really lets her do the bulk of the work and take care of him.

Breastfeeding in the NICU - it can (or may not) be done

I had two very different breastfeeding experiences. All three of my kids started out in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit), so none of them breastfeeding right after birth or even anytime in the first two weeks following birth. However, this does not determine the outcome, as I found out.

My first children were twins. They were born 9 weeks premature, at 31 weeks. The suck/swallow/breathe ability does not develop until 34 weeks gestation, so that was when we started feeding not via a tube. I would try to nurse and then also try to bottle feed. It was tough juggling the schedules of two babies in the NICU. The nurses want them on their determined schedule, but (as all Mommies know!) sometimes the schedule just doesn't work out. Their schedule was 30 minutes apart, every 3 hours. So, first to one baby and then to the other. Oh, and then I would pump afterwards. And throughout the night at home, while they were bottle fed by the night NICU nurses. Exhausting. And then they came home! Anyway, it was truly amazing to see what happens to a baby who is nursing while hooked up to heart rate monitors and oxygen sensors. Especially with my son, everything would go perfect when he was nursing.

It's Twins! A New Gemini Crickets Logo and Website Are Born!

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!  Today, we are very excited to announce that Gemini Crickets has a brand new logo and website.

THE NEW LOGO:

It's a boy! It's a girl! It's boy/girl crickets - twins! We are pleased to announce that our much desired new logo has finally arrived. Several months in the making after dozens of wardrobe changes and one eyelash lengthening treatment later, they are here, dressed adorably and on their best behavior to meet the club. Gracing our brand new logo, may we present the new and improved Gemini Crickets crickets. Feel free to coo!

About the Designer:

Thanks to designer and club member, JJ Barber from Scarlet Dolphin Designs, Gemini Cricket has a fabulous new logo. JJ created crickets that are similar but with different clothing to show that multiples have unique identities. They are looking at each other and smiling because multiples are always each other's best friends, and finally, their antenna are intertwined to represent the twin or multiple connection or bond that started in the womb. It's not easy to render a cricket cute so kudos to JJ Barber for accomplishing this task.

JJ Barber does great design work and has designed many an item in the past, including t-shirts and ads for AVAC Swim School, fun stuff for twins or about twins. She also does photography, greeting cards, photography, websites and more! Thank you, JJ - we love our new logo!

Twins Mommies At the Spa

A few of us Gemini Crickets twin mommies, Linda, Akemi and Linsey, write for Silicon Valley Moms Blog, a collaborative blog of, well....sort of what the name implies - Moms in the Silicon Valley. You can read our stuff here, here, and here. It is a fun and challening enterprise, and every now and then, we get treated to a little pampering.

Yesterday, we were invited, along with the other Silicon Valley Moms, to the Four Seasons Hotel in Palo Alto by Graco, who showed us their new product, the SweetPeace "soothing center". While our husbands and babysitters (Linda's husband was traveling on business) handled the kids, we chatted poolside with our fellow bloggers (there were 5 of us there who have twins- pictured in the photo are, from bottom left, Linda, Linsey, Ana, Akemi and Beth - Alix, we missed you!), enjoyed hand massages, drank wine and ate yummy sushi appetizers (this party was NOT for expectant mothers, apparently). And we got an education on soothing from Graco.

Tips for Managing Multiples

Elizabeth Lyons, author of Ready or Not...Here We Come! (on the first year of raising twins) and Ready or Not...There We Go! (on the toddler years with twins), has some great (not to mention funny) tips on her website for Managing Multiples. From what to cook for dinner, to how to deal with all the questions you'll be asked by strangers about your new twins (for instance, I seemed to always be asked "Are they identical?" even though I have boy/girl twins...), to all kinds of tips for survival and sanity-savers. This column is a great read. Enjoy!

Original Gemini Crickets Blog post.