Mad About Multiples!

Ditch the Duct Tape: Redirecting Children's Behavior

The meeting topic, “Redirecting Children's Behavior”, must have implied that there *is* hope out there for dealing with the terrible twos (and threes) and with sibling rivalry, because Gemini Crickets members came out in droves, with 70 anxious-to-learn parents in attendance. On August 19th, the New & Expecting Parents and General Meeting joined forces to bring Etsuko Tsukagoshi, mom to two young boys and a certified Redirecting Children's Behavior course instructor, up from San Diego to discuss age appropriate strategies to keep familial peace - - all so that we, crazy parents of multiples (and then some in a few cases), can create closer connections at home.

Etsuko's normal RCB course is a 12.5 hour program, but she was up to the challenge of whizzing through the highlights, providing participants with an informative overview of the concept of redirection and some important tips on how to get started. If you were unable to convince your in-laws or friends to watch you children (ideally for free), hopefully this summary will explain the definition of redirection, as well provide a few techniques you can try with your kids, in both the areas of the “terrible twos” as discussed in the NEP meeting, and sibling rivalry, which was the topic of the General Meeting.

"Redirecting Children's Behavior", or RCB, is a positive discipline program that incorporates accountability, limits, encouragement, communication and responsibility. With RCB, the role of the parent is to remember that all of our children's' behavior has a purpose and that our job is to investigate and be curious, so as to find out what exactly is behind their actions. Even=2 0the most annoying of behaviors, which include but are not limited to (the following are real-life examples, as provided by GC members): whining, pointing & screaming, hair pulling/fighting/pushing, and the constant yelling of “mine”. Redirecting means to diagnose the misbehavior and then teach the child to get his/her needs met appropriately, so they no longer feel the needs to misbehave. When misbehavior is stopped by distracting the child's attention, it will usually start back up again. Redirecting misbehavior addresses the underlying cause of the misbehavior, not just the symptom! The methods of redirection teach parents how to become calmer and more confident and empowers moms and dads to teach their children to be responsible and cooperative.

Redirecting Children's Behavior with Etsuko Tsukagoshi

On Wednesday, August 19th, Gemini Crickets is please to be hosting Etsuko Tsukagoshi who will be giving a talk about Redirecting Children's Behavior. Here's a Q&A session between Etsuko and her grad school roommate, now New & Expecting Parent's Liason and mom to toddler twins and preschooler, Mari Beal:

Q: So Etsuko, I've vaguely heard of INCAF, and always thought it stood for “ “I'm Nearing Craziness, Accredited to Family”. Apparently, it stands for something else. Can you please tell me more?

A: Here is a little bit of background on International Network for Children and Families (INCAF) and Redirecting Children’s Behavior(RCB): This course is designed by Kathryn Kvols over 30 years ago based on the Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs, one of America's foremost child psychiatrists’ book “Children: The Challenge”. Since it's creation, the International Network for Children and Families (INCAF), created by Kathryn Kvols, has trained and certified over 1000 instructors. My husband and I took the RCB course right before we had our second baby, and were so impressed by this technique that I wanted to master it. I decided to become an instructor, got certified by INCAF, and I have been the teaching program in San Diego since last fall.

Q: Hmmmm...sound like a class that would take take me a year to complete. I mean, have you *seen* my children?

A: It’s a total of 12.5 hours of instruction, and I usually offer it in once a week course for 5 weeks format. In many cases both parents attend the course, which makes lots of sense, but even if one parent is taking the class, the students can see the difference in their household. I also have many clients who live overseas, so I also offer a lot of coaching over the phone.

Bye-Bye Diapers! ...And Music Together! Join us for our General Meeting on Potty Training Multiples and our New & Expectant Parent Meeting for Music Together - Wed, July 1st

Wondering how you will wrangle two or more kids out of diapers and into big kid pants? Be sure not to miss our upcoming General Meeting on potty training multiples on Wednesday, July 1st at 7:30pm at Saratoga Library, with Heidi Emberling - a speaker from the Parents Place. Click here for all the details.

Course Description:
Like many lessons in life, learning to use the toilet is not one that we can really teach children, but there are ways that we can help them teach themselves. This workshop includes information that helps you understand how to set up both an environment and an attitude that will guide and promote your child’s progress. You will learn how consistency with a routine can help your child feel more in control and gain independence.

Course Objectives:
* To recognize signs of readiness in children.
* To discuss the importance of commitment and flexibility in helping children toilet train.
* To help create an environment and attitude that will foster success.
* To discuss how gender and temperament impact toilet training.
* To recognize the external routines that promote internal regulation.
* To discuss the difference between pressuring versus following through.
* To recognize that regression is a natural part of the ongoing process.

We will also be having a New & Expectant Parent Meeting before the potty training meeting (from 6:15pm - 7:30pm) - it will be a fun Music Together class.

New and prospective members are welcome to join and babies are always welcome.

See you there!

Willy the Worm...and Creating Your Own Environmentally Friendly Family

Katja W., one of Gemini Crickets' Co-Vice Presidents, joins us today to tell us about her worms and how they relate to our upcoming meeting on "Creating your Own Environmentally Friendly Family" next Thursday, April 2nd at 7:30pm - click here for the meeting details.

Please meet Willy and his gang. They are our family pets and my children love them dearly.

We have some allergies in the families. So, dogs, cats, hamsters and all the other furry friends are off limit for us. But, we have composting worms and they keep us entertained. They are Red Wiggler Worms, the thoroughbreds of the worm world. They live in a bin in our garage, since they shouldn't be kept outside, where it can be too hot or too cold for them. There are people who even keep them under the kitchen sink. I am not there yet. But, if they are treated well, the bin doesn't smell at all even though you put food scraps in there.

Giveaway time at Mad About Multiples - Four passes to Children's Discovery Museum

With the rainy weather in full force we thought it would be nice to give away four passes to the Children's Discovery Museum in San Jose.  Read about how to enter below. The Children's Discovery Museum is always a great place to let out some energy and learn all kinds of things from the cool exhibits. And speaking of the rain...well, of other depressing things, anyway...on to the economy!

For our general meeting coming up next week on Wednesday, March 11th, at 7:30 p.m. will have two senior level psychologists,  Joyce Hoffspiegel Ph.D and Francine Toder Ph.D., come speak about how to remain up while the economy is down.  This talk will be both instructive and interactive, as participants gain personal support and insight about the impact of a depressed economy on their own lives as parents and in their relationships with spouses, children, colleagues and others. Special emphasis will be placed on helping participants learn better psychological coping mechanisms; face the responsibilities of parenting; relating to a spouse; working outside the home and maintaining an inner balance during this period of extreme psychological stress.

To enter:

We will have one winner in this giveaway and they will be chosen at random.  To enter to win, please leave us a comment below telling us:

How has the economy impacted your family and what are some of the things you are doing to save money and/or spend less?

The giveaway (via comments on this site) will end Wednesday, March 11th at 5:00 p.m. PST. 

For another chance to win:

Come to the meeting on Wednesday, March 11th, at 7:30 p.m. to hear Joyce Hoffspiegel Ph.D and Francine Toder Ph.D. speak about How to Remain Up While the Economy is Down for another chance to win!

Kindergarten (Un)Readiness

When I was 5 years old, my mother enrolled me in kindergarten at our neighborhood school. I'm sure she didn't poll her friends to see if they'd be enrolling their age eligible kids in kindergarten because for the most part, she already knew. Most of her friends were also enrolling their children in kindergarten at their neighborhood public school. If we were age eligible, we went. It's just how it was done back then, at least in our middle class California neighborhood. Sure, a few went the private school route and a few more enlightened parents held their autumn birthday children (especially boys) back a year; but in doing so, they didn't conduct a massive search to find the "perfect" kinder prep program in the frenzied manner we do today. In fact, the children I know who sat out that first year, did most of the sitting out at home, playing with their siblings. Had I been born an October baby, I'm quite certain my parents would have enrolled me in kindergarten nonetheless and off to kindergarten I might have marched, a shy 4-year-old who might not have been quite ready.

Join us for our General Meeting next Wednesday, January 14th for a Preschool Panel

As we prepare for Gemini Crickets' upcoming General Meeting next Wednesday, January 14th at 7:30pm at Saratoga Library which will feature a panel discussion on preschool for multiples (click here for the details), Katja W., one of Gemini Crickets Co-Vice Presidents and mom of 3-year-old twin girls, joins us today to tell us about her "preschool hunt."

Last year at this time, I started to freak out because I realized that I was about to make the biggest decision about my twin girls' lives ever: Where do I send them to preschool?

At least, the amount of time, thoughts and gray hair that went into it, would have easily made you think that it was that big of a decision. But, to be fair to myself, it might not be a life altering decision, but it can be pretty daunting to choose between all the options that are out there: developmental vs. academic or language immersion? Montessori or Waldorf, anybody?

An Evening with Valerie Lewis from Hicklebee's Children's Bookstore

It's not every day that you get to listen to an expert on children's books read her favorite stories aloud and share her knowledge about the importance of early literacy.  Gemini Crickets members and their friends gathered at the Saratoga Library on Wednesday, December 10th to hear Valerie Lewis, co-owner of Hicklebee's Childrens Books in downtown Willow Glen, do just that and as always, she is a crowd pleaser.  She brought three crates of books, all of them filled with some old favorites and her new Preschool Fall 2008 picks which we couldn't wait to hear about!

Giveaway time at Mad About Multiples - Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler Toys from LeapFrog

In honor of our wonderful speaker, Valerie Lewis, founder of Hicklebee's Books, at the General Meeting, happening tomorrow evening, Wednesday December 10th at 7:30pm, we are focused on early literacy for our kids. And, as many of us are still shopping for the holidays, so we thought we would give away some great educational toys from LeapFrog.

Recently, a few of us from Mad About Multiples, were lucky enough to be invited to attend a talk given by LeapFrog (you can read about it here and here). After the talk, LeapFrog bestowed gift bags upon us all and wanted all you twin (and more!) mommies to benefit from some of these great baby, toddler and preschooler toys. 

To enter:
We will have 3 winners in this giveaway and they will be chosen by random. To enter to win, please leave a comment below telling us:

What is your all time favorite children's book?

** Please also note how old your kids are and which LeapFrog product (listed below) you would like to be in the running for.

The giveaway (via comments on this site) will end tomorrow, Wednesday, Dec 10th at 7:00pm PST.

For another chance to win:
Come to the meeting to hear Valerie Lewis from Hicklebee's Children's Books speak tomorrow night for another chance to win! 

The 3 giveaway items from LeapFrog are:

For the babies:  Animals with Appy - Spin Appy's belly to the sunny daytime scene and hear active songs about colors and animals. Spin to the nighttime scene and hear a soothing lullaby as Appy finds her friends to say goodnight.  Plus, a Goodnight mode provides 5 minutes of soothing light. (6 mos - 3 yrs)

For the toddlers:  Learn & Groove radio - Flip pages introduce words and vocabulary in English and Spanish as music and lights make playtime groove.  Press the center Translator button to instantly switch between English and Spanish languages. (12 mos - 3 yrs)

For the preschoolers:  Fridge Phoenics magnetic set - Your fridge door is the perfect place to develop a taste for reading. Nobody goes hungry for learning with this set of 26 colorful, easy-grip magnetic letters and magnetic letter reader that attaches securely to your fridge. Each letter talks, sings and teaches letter names, letter sounds and learning songs. Put a letter into the reader to hear its name, its sound or a fun phonics song. Your kids might not eat their vegetables, but with the Fridge Phonics Magnetic Set they can learn to spell them. (24 mos - 5 yrs)

Remember, Hicklebee's Children's Books will be selling many of their wonderful books at the meeting Wednesday night and will be donating 10% of the sales back to our club, Gemini Crickets, so be sure to bring your checkbook! (They are also extending the fundraiser for the week of December 10-17 for any purchases you make at the Hicklebee's store during this week - mention you are with Gemini Crickets when you shop at the store.) This is a GREAT way to support a wonderful local business and our club.

Best of luck in the giveaway - and happy shopping!

Being a Self-Centered Mom - Join us for our General Meeting on Wednesday, November 19th at 7:30pm

**In the spirit of being "self-centered" let's all meet for a drink after the general meeting at Rock Bottom Brewery in Campbell at the Pruneyard!

"The Self Centered Coach" Julie Van De Wyngaerde, Founder and CEO of Self Centered Moms, helps moms be supported, expressed, loved and fulfilled for the benefit of their families. Julie's presentation focuses on helping moms:

• Stop feeling overwhelmed in the role of mother
• Take more time for themselves without feeling guilty
• Learn where to get more support
• Speak up and ask for what they want
• Have the love they want and need
• Be fulfilled as a mother and in all areas of their life

This event is for all members of Gemini Crickets. Prospective members and babies (under 1 yr old only please) are always welcome! Dinner will be served, so please RSVP via our group on Big Tent.

Wednesday, Nov 19 at 7:30pm
Saratoga Library
13650 Saratoga Ave, Saratoga, CA 95070
(408) 867-6126

Read more about Gemini Crickets General Meetings here.

Original Mad About Multiples post. Learn more about membership with Gemini Crickets Parents of Multiples of Silicon Valley here.

Getting Creative at the October General Meeting

On Wednesday, October 8, Gemini Crickets members came together to help get the creative juices flowing at our general meeting which was all about crafts!  When picking topics for the year, Katja W. and myself (Co-Vice Presidents) thought it would be fun to have a general meeting focusing on different arts and crafts parents could do with their children, ages toddler on up.  Having been a first grade teacher before having my twins, I immediately thought of Lakeshore Learning as a great place to purchase craft supplies and get tons of easy craft ideas.  They were more than willing to come bring samples of crafts, educational materials, catalogues and coupons (who doesn't love a coupon?).  Parents got the opportunity to try out different products from Lakeshore, including ocean animal stamps with giant (washable!) ink pads, play dough, wikki stixs (waxed yarn pieces that bend, twist and stick to each other), dot markers, beads, paints, colorful Halloween pasta, chalk, and much more!  Lakeshore also offers free crafts for kids every Saturday from 11 am to 3 pm.  A great way to introduce your kids to some new materials you might not have at home and to get more craft ideas to do together.

Former preschool teacher and current nanny to two Gemini Crickets families, Erin B., brought

Mad About Multiples GIVEAWAY: "Sleep is for the Weak" book by the best of the mommybloggers

Today, inspired by our upcoming New and Expectant Parents meeting on Schedules next Wednesday, October 8th, we are giving away a really funny book by "the best of the mommybloggers including Amalah, Finslippy, Fussy, Woulda Coulda Shouda, Mom-101, CityMama and more" called "Sleep is for the Weak." It is edited by Rita Arens from Surrender, Dorothy - a few of us from Mad About Multiples heard Rita speak this summer about what it took to pull this book together and, let's just say that after reading the book, we're so glad she went to the lengths she did, because it is one of the best mommy books we have ever read. This is honest, funny and real-life writing at its best. It is truly a labor of love - if you don't win, make sure you buy a copy of the book and support these great mommybloggers.

From the back of the book: "Each month, more than half a million readers turn to the 25 mommyblogs featured in this collection for advice and a sense of camaraderie, and this anthology brings together their best and brightest essays. Written to be read during the mind-bogglingly short breaks parents get during their busy days, these pieces will help the hip but harried mother remember that 'you are still you.'"

To enter to win, please leave a comment by Wednesday Oct 8th at noon to this post below telling us:  What is your best scheduling tip for multiples (or singletons!) ...OR if you haven't given birth yet (or are in need of a tip!), what do you want to know most about scheduling for babies.

AND....If you come to the New & Expectant Parent Meeting and/or the General Meeting (a craft workshop - craft ideas to do with your kids) next Wednesday, October 8th, you will be entered to win a second time! See you there!

Note: Unfortunately, we just missed a book signing party that happened last night in Menlo Park, but there is aanother book signing party for Sleep is for the Week tomorrow (Saturday October 4th) at Swig in San Francisco from 5-7 p.m. (561 Geary St, San Francisco, CA 94102). The party is sponsored by Graco.

Original Mad About Multiples blog post.

Books! Books! Books!

We had a great speaker for our General Meeting in March - Valerie Lewis, co-founder of Hicklebees Bookstore. She read from a wide selection of childrens books that she likes and talked about why reading to your kids is so important. While reading excerpts, she had lots to say about how and what you read to your kids. She offered some tips such as:

• Read books that you like - your child can tell if you have lost your enthusiasm or are reading something that you don't like.
• Don't worry about "dumbing" down the books or words - even if they don't understand all the words, they will still understand the story. You can always go back and talk about new words and concepts.
• Trust your children if they want to hear a "scary" story. They often focus on different elements than adults, and may not see a scary story in the same way.
• Try to read to your kids for 20 minutes each day - but that is just a goal.

One of the topics she felt strongly about was not worrying about teaching your kids to read so early. Valerie talked about just reading to your kids for the fun of it - and to offer books without any expectations. Without the pressure, your kids will learn to love books; and they will learn to read.