Mad About Multiples!

Fun with Food!

 My 3.5 year old twins and I are out and about all the time and like most toddlers, they LOVE to snack!  I never leave the house without all their favorites: berries, cheese, carrots, yogurt, crackers, cut up fruit, raisins, pasta, meats, etc., etc.  If I'm really pressed for time and we are heading to the park, I've been known to stop at McDonald's Subway for a quick lunch. 

My twins are great eaters but we are definitely stuck in a rut.  I pick up the usual stuff when I'm at Costco (where else can you buy loads of snacks for two hungry toddlers?!).  I usually throw in a few premade meals for dinner and if it's frozen, I'm all over it!  My kids aren't too picky and they love to try new things, but I just don't always have the time or energy creativity to try something new at home.  I go for fast and easy (and healthy!) and that usually means a rotisserie chicken, rice and broccoli.  They are also getting to the age where they really want to help in the kitchen and are interested in how food is prepared.  They want to stir, pour and chop.  Since I'm not much of a cook, the only exposure to cooking they've had is the occasional cookie decorating or stirring of pancake mix.  So my goal is to work some new foods into our somewhat bland dinner menu and find ways to involve the kids in preparing our family meals in hopes that it will also encourage them to try new and healthy foods.

Who Loves Preschool More? Me or Them?

 As a parent in a parent participation preschool, starting school again is not only exciting for my kids, but for me as well!  I have been missing the other parents that I have gotten to know so well last year in the 2's class and then I had a chance to meet some new parents during summer school.  So this year in the 3's class we will all be together and I can't wait to get back!  I have come to rely on the school community very much - the parents are some of my closest friends and the teachers' experience and knowledge about child development has forever changed me as a parent.

We started at Explorer Preschool when the twins were only 19 months old in a Together Time for Parents and Toddlers class.  A few other Gemini Crickets families were enrolling their twins, as well as several close friends of mine who had a child the same age.   It was a great way to get out with the kids in a preschool setting with other moms that I knew while getting some much needed parent education in the process.  Being a former teacher myself, I just couldn't get enough of this school!  I felt completely welcomed there and I embraced the child-centered play-based philosophy immediately.  I had so many questions about my own toddlers' development and throw in the fact that I had TWO toddlers going through the exact SAME stages at the SAME time made this program a sanity life saver.

Topic Week: Back-to-School (recap)

Legions of multiples have headed back to school this month. Some went to preschool. Others to kindergarten. Others to grade school and beyond. Some are in separate classes while others have been kept together. From parent participation schools to public schools to catholic schools, our multiples are out there learning. It's been a learning experience for us parents as well. Some of us can't bear to be without our children at our side, while others are doing the "drop and flee". We're learning the ins and outs of new schools. Some of us are in our childrens' classrooms, poking around and staying involved. Others of us are working full time. A few of us public school kindergarten moms are shocked - shocked! - that as soon as we arrive with our children at school, the doors slam shut and we have no idea what's going on inside that classroom. Some children recount their entire day, while others remain mute. Some children divulge information in fragments.

So this week on Mad About Multiples, since our children are back in school, we're using those precious extra hours to talk about back-to-school.

We are hoping to get a new post up every day... we'll see!

Original post to Mad About Multiples.

Recap September 22, 2009

Whew - We got through back-to-school! Some of us sent twins off to preschool while some of us sent twins to kindergarten. Either way, It's nice to be back into a routine!

Here's what we discussed:

Pam loves her co-op preschool, worms and all: Back to preschool, Yeah or Boo.

Amy isn't sure who loves preschool more: Who Loves Preschool More, Me or Them?

Akemi second guesses her every move: Making the Least Bad Choice: 4-year-olds in Kindergarten.

Daphne quickly gets use to curbside drop-off: The Convenience Factor of Preschool.

Amy M. likes to be busy: Two Parent Participation Preschools? Call me crazy.

Linsey looks back: Ben and Lily's First Few Weeks of Kindergarten is a Mixed Bag.

Linda is relieved: One Year's Reprieve.

Nora LOVES back-to-school: Back to School? Back to the Museums!!!

Original post to Mad About Multiples.

Topic Week Recap: Confessions From Never Say Neverland

Wow - that did feel good! We aired our dirty laundry on a crowded line and nobody told us to take it down. That's how it goes in Never Say Neverland where the dirty laundry never ends and the population keeps climbing. Whether you have singletons or multiples or both, parenting is hard work. There is no perfect parent. There is no perfect parenting style. Parenting is a learning process, one that goes through changes and backtracks and baffling turns. We've learned to be flexible, we've learned not to judge, we've learned to laugh at ourselves and we've learned that what we said we'd do (or not do) before we had kids was totally insane a wee bit idealistic.

A recap of this week's posts:

Akemi/svtwinmom from Chalk and Cheese Chronicles worries her kids are now the bullies in Keeping My Inner Sanctimommy at Bay

Susan from Thoughts from the Delirious Mind tries not to scream at her kids in Never Say Never

Amy T. from Audren and Nathan reassures herself that she was born to be a mom (right?)

Lisa George from The Curious Georges reexamines her views on parenting in My Life, Examined

Mari B. tries to control her kids...and her past judgments in Please Control Yourself

Polly F. from Fox Tales isn't a bad mom, just a flexible one in I'll Never Do That

Linda D/MommyTwinGirls from Solheim Photography admits to Backpedaling on the TV-thing

On behalf of Mad About Multiples, thank you for reading along. Now go and air your dirty laundry. We won't judge you.

Original post to Mad About Multiples.

I Was Born to be a Mom...... Right?

I was born to be a mother, at least that's what I grew up believing.  Being the oldest of four siblings, I immediately became a "little mommy."  My sister, who is eleven years younger than me and the baby of the family, would run to me when she got hurt.  I loved to dress her up, do her hair and take her places.  She was my baby.  My mom, who was a stay at home mom, nursed all four of us.  She cooked dinner every night, kept a clean and organized house and hardly ever raised her voice.  She managed four kids with four different schedules with limited help from my dad, who worked quite a bit when we were younger. 

I knew I was going to be a great mom someday.  I had years of experience taking care of my siblings, many years of babysitting to earn money and then 6 years as a first grade teacher.  And I had been taking notes for many years, believe me.  I majored in Child Development and then trained as an elementary school teacher, so I had 6+ years of dealing with children and their families.   As soon as I found out I was pregnant (with twins!) I bought and read every book I could get my hands on, mostly about sleep training, scheduling, nursing, and caring for a newborn.  I took classes at the hospital and read so many different blogs and websites about being a new mom.  I joined Gemini Crickets when I was only four months pregnant and attended just about every New & Expecting Parent meeting.   I was going to be the perfect parent!  After all, how hard could it really be?  All the information was out there.  My mom did it with four kids so raising two shouldn't be that difficult.  Then I became a parent and realized all too quickly just how difficult a job it really was and everything I thought I knew flew out the window!

 Nursing is going to be easy.... right?  Right after the twins were born, I had a huge slap of reality.  Nursing HURT!  I mean, it really hurt.  And it was HARD!  Really, really hard.  Despite exhaustion, I pumped, I went to the newborn club at the hospital for support and I had support from my husband.  I was also in a lot of pain due to a flare up of my rheumatoid arthritis.  I had to be put back on my medication, which was not safe for the babies. This was very devastating to me.  I knew how good breast milk was for my babies and giving them formula was not my plan at all.   I already felt like a failure and they were only 6 weeks old.  I had to get over it and move on.  My first lesson in being a new parent - be flexible!!

Getting Creative at the October General Meeting

On Wednesday, October 8, Gemini Crickets members came together to help get the creative juices flowing at our general meeting which was all about crafts!  When picking topics for the year, Katja W. and myself (Co-Vice Presidents) thought it would be fun to have a general meeting focusing on different arts and crafts parents could do with their children, ages toddler on up.  Having been a first grade teacher before having my twins, I immediately thought of Lakeshore Learning as a great place to purchase craft supplies and get tons of easy craft ideas.  They were more than willing to come bring samples of crafts, educational materials, catalogues and coupons (who doesn't love a coupon?).  Parents got the opportunity to try out different products from Lakeshore, including ocean animal stamps with giant (washable!) ink pads, play dough, wikki stixs (waxed yarn pieces that bend, twist and stick to each other), dot markers, beads, paints, colorful Halloween pasta, chalk, and much more!  Lakeshore also offers free crafts for kids every Saturday from 11 am to 3 pm.  A great way to introduce your kids to some new materials you might not have at home and to get more craft ideas to do together.

Former preschool teacher and current nanny to two Gemini Crickets families, Erin B., brought

My First Day Alone with the Twins

After the twins were born, I was lucky enough to have my husband home for one month.  I thought for sure that would be plenty of time for me to get into a routine and be totally comfortable taking care of both babies by myself once he had to go back to work.  Boy, was I wrong!  I was so nervous the week leading up to him going back.  In fact, I was dreading it.  Yes, I had my family five minutes away and they reassured me that they would be there to help whenever I needed it.  But just knowing my husband wasn't going to be there and that I would have to start thinking about doing the night feedings more often so he could get some rest for work made me exhausted.  I suddenly envied all the families that had nannies and/or night nurses.  That's OK, I told myself.  I will survive my first day solo with the babies!

Writing Motherhood: First Words and Other Firsts

Today, we at Mad About Multiples will be joining a circle of other bloggers as we explore Writing Motherhood via the writing prompt: First Words and Other Firsts. We'll be throwing up posts throughout the day, so check back often for our take on firsts. If you have a twins-related "first" you'd like to share, please feel free leave a comment.

“First Words and Other Firsts: Open any baby diary and you will find whole pages devoted to firsts: first smile, first words, first friends, first birthday. Why are firsts so significant? Because they represent a beginning. Because they push us beyond what is familiar and comfortable. Because they jolt us out of the numbness or everyday life and bring us back to our primitive selves when we saw a world through a child’s eyes. Keeping in mind that first experiences do not end with babyhood, write about a first: the first day of kindergarten, the first day of college, the first grandchild. Or simply begin with the writing start “the first time” and write down the first thing that comes to mind.” 

Singleton vs. Twins Playgroups

Playgroups are my life saver.  It has been a great opportunity for my kids to socialize with other kids their age while I get to know other moms and ask questions, share stories, exchange ideas and meet up at fun and interesting places.   I love meeting up with other moms so much that I belong to two play groups that meet weekly – my twins playgroup that has been meeting since the kids were about 5 months old, and my playgroup with all singletons and a few with siblings that has been meeting for about a year and a half now.   It’s been hard to balance the two, but it’s nice to have so many different things to do every week and I’ve made some really great friends in the process.  This network of moms is invaluable to me.  Although I have to admit, it’s been fun to compare the two play groups.  As parents of multiples, I’m sure you can relate as most of us have friends and/or family members with singletons. It’s so hard not to notice what different lives we lead! 

Here are my observations when comparing the two playgroups (meant to be humorous, of course!):

Traveling with Multiples? What's That?!

For a stay-at-home-mom, I sure don’t stay at home very often. Since my twins were only a few months old, I would take them out for walks every day. I couldn’t wait to join a playgroup. When the kids were 5 months old I was meeting other moms for coffee, strolls through the mall, parks and play dates at other peoples’ homes. Now that the kids are 2 years old, we are usually out the door after breakfast and don’t come home until 1 p.m. for naps. I think I’ve been to every gated park in the area and we have been busy checking out different library story times. We’ve done My Gym and a Together Time Class through a parent-participation preschool. On the weekends we often go to Children's Discovery Museum, Happy Hollow, Oakland Zoo, San Francisco Zoo and anything else that sounds fun and interesting for our toddlers. But the thought of taking a trip that involves a plane ride or even a long car ride – yikes! 

I love the idea of taking a trip with the kids. In fact, we have attempted a trip or two. We drove to the San Diego area when the kids had just turned one. Our plan was to leave at 6 p.m. hoping they would sleep the entire 7 hour drive and they did! However, when we arrived at the hotel at 1 a.m., they were wide awake and not very happy. My husband set up the pack n plays and after about an hour of crying on and off, we finally put them in bed with us, trying not to wake up all the other hotel guests. None of us slept well that night, therefore it was a very LONG next day where we had plans to visit friends, go out to lunch and maybe play on the beach. The kids were still taking two naps and trying to get them to nap in the pack n plays at someone else’s house was just proving to be more work than what it was worth. Quick naps in the car and another night of them in bed with us and I was ready to go home. The kids were tired and cranky and so were we. I was stressed and could not enjoy our visit.

Help & Support

Where to find support and how to ask for help has been a very popular topic of discussion on Big Tent (the Gemini Crickets on-line community). I often see members post questions about where to find a reliable nanny, recommendations for night nurses, au pair agencies and mother's helpers or babysitters. But there are also many questions about how to do it on your own - feedings, shopping, schedules, housework, meals and most recently, how to care for a toddler and newborn twins.  With such a high interest in this topic, our May New & Expecting Parents meeting included three speakers - all of which had experience and expertise on how to find support and how to ask for help during that critical first year of having multiples.  The panel included Jessica Gillan, president of A Nanny Solution, Inc., a nanny placement agency, Elaine Farber, newborn consultant and author with over 25 years experience in multiple birth, and Cheryl M. Wenzel-Nelson, mother of 3 year old boy/girl twins who writes and speaks about the transition to motherhood.  The combined experience of these three women was invaluable. 

Jessica answered many questions from the group about how to hire a nanny, including fees, education, background checks, hours and job duties.  She encouraged parents to never settle when finding adequate childcare and that it's OK to be picky when hiring a nanny.

Baby Proofing Your Home

New and Expecting Parents gathered together in April to hear guest speaker, Martin Simenc from Home Safety Services, give tips and answer questions about baby proofing their homes.  Martin introduced himself and immediately opened it up for questions from the audience.  Boy, were there a lot of great questions! 

Some topics discussed that evening included:

The Best Job at the Auction!

What, you may ask, is the best job to have at the Gemini Crickets Annual Auction and Raffle?  Well, that's easy - Greeter! I am quite experienced in this small, but very important role. I admit, I was pressured into it last year. Linsey K. (auction chairperson and master volunteer recruiter) invited members to her home to help stuff donation letters.  A glass of wine and a few desserts later, the next thing I knew I was signing my name on her volunteer list. Oh no! What was I doing? I swore I didn't have time to be on another committee. This woman is good! The event was fabulous and I really did enjoy being on the committee. So when sign-ups came around for this year's auction, I figured, why not? I had a great time being involved last year and what better way to raise money for the club while getting to know more people. Plus, I was a pro at greeting.  OK, I admit, it isn't one of the most labor-intensive committee jobs, but I was doing my part and if given a few glasses of wine, who knows what I would have signed up for?

Addicted to Binkies

Hi, my name is Amy and my two year old twins are addicted to binkies. It all started the day they were born. The nurses in the hospital gave them each pacifiers and it immediately soothed them. My husband and I didn’t think twice about using it as a way to calm our newborn twins. I had received several packages of binkies as shower gifts before the babies were even born. Whenever they got fussy, we’d pop that binkie in and we they were happy as can be.   We put them to bed with a binkie and for the first few months they’d spit it out and then start to cry because they couldn’t get it back in on their own (swaddling makes that difficult). We ran into their rooms and put the binkie back in so we could all get a few more hours of precious sleep. Soon, they figured out how to put it back in all by themselves. Hooray!!! Finding the binkie at night in the dark was proving to be difficult for each baby so my husband would scatter about 50 5 binkies in their cribs so no matter where they turned, they’d find one. Genius! Over time, we have bought and lost so many binkies – I think we own stock in Gerber. I even bought those cute little clips when they were infants that connect the binkie to their shirt so we’d never lose them.

My husband and I have been caught a few times without binkies when out shopping or in the car. Believe me, you only make that mistake once. Kids are screaming, we are cursing yelling and blaming each other, trying to find a darn binkie. “I thought you had one,” I shout to my husband. “I thought YOU brought them,” he  says through clenched teeth while frantically searching his pockets and the stroller.   Now you can look in our car and find about 100 10 different binkies stashed throughout the glove box, diaper bag, car seat and my purse. At the top of our checklist when leaving the house isn’t food and diapers. Yep, you guessed it, it’s BINKIES!

Now that the kids have turned two,

My Two Are Turning 2 On 2/22!

It’s birthday party season! The sweet aroma of cupcakes fill the air, colorful balloons decorate homes and party venues, children’s laughter and shrieks of delight can be heard miles away,  smooth wrapping paper and bows are quickly ripped into and the taste of sweet apple juice and creamy ice cream leave us with sugar highs. One set of twins in our playgroup of 8 sets of twins has already turned two and my twins are turning two this Friday. For the next few months, a set of twins will turn two every couple weeks.

Where are you going to have their party?
What’s the theme?
What will they wear?
What kind of food are you serving?
Are you making the cake or buying one?

These are the questions that the moms in my playgroup have discussed at each play date. These are the questions that have kept me up at night since Christmas.

Why does planning their second birthday party stress me out so much?  For me, my twins are my first kids and will be my last.  On the day of their first birthday, I cried while vacuuming the floor because I realized I am only going to plan a first birthday one time.  There will only be one first birthday, and one second birthday, etc., etc.  I suddenly felt the pressure to make every milestone and every event a really big deal because after all, I was only going to do it ONE time.