I used to have twindar. If there were twins in the vicinity, my
radar would light up. In the early days, when I was pushing the double Snap n Go,
I'd pass someone doing the same and we'd give each other a salute of
sweet exasperation. Toddler and preschool age twins were also easy to
spot, with some of them dressed all matchy matchy and others, like my
twins, dressed in complementary outfits. I used to be acutely aware of
the presence of another set of twins in the room. "Hi there, I've got
twins, too," I would want to cheer. It was like we were all members of
an exclusive club.
Sometimes, I was spurned. They've got twins, I've got twins and we're both in the diaper aisle at Target - maybe the other mom will recommend a brand of diapers! "How old are your twins?" I'd ask. A forced smile and a curt, "six months," and zero eye contact cut short that exchange and I decided to shrink back, not wanting to be spurned again. But you never know, many times, moms of twins have approached me and we've enjoyed a short non-invasive, innocuous conversation. A couple of times, we discovered we were both members of Gemini Crickets. Go with the flow seemed to be the best approach.
Sometimes, I'd get it wrong. "Do you have twins?" I'd ask, only to find out the "twins" were really only 10 months apart ("Irish twins") or that the two babies were cousins, or just two babies being minded by the same nanny. We'd bond on a different level, as mothers, perhaps, rather than as mothers of twins.
Now that I've got school age twins, I no longer seek that little twin salute by way of a smile or a chat in the aisle of Target. I still notice twins, but I don't make the effort to say hello, or to even look their way. I just rush on by, carrying on as I otherwise would. Inside, though, I'm thinking, "Your twins are adorable!" or I'm reminiscing about the monkey backpack tethers or the days when I wouldn't dare go anywhere with my twins without grandma in tow. It's like all those college sweatshirts and bumper stickers you see everywhere. You notice it but you don't run up to every alumni and shout out that you also went to college there. So while I still see twins everywhere, I raise a glass to them in silence.
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Original post to Mad About Multiples. When Akemi isn't out spotting twins, she's blogging about her own at Chalk and Cheese Chronicles and over at SV Moms.
