Judging The Bully
Out of the corner of my eye, I see
him. He's darting about the mommy-and-me gym class like a firecracker.
That kid. The bully. The one-whose-mom-should-be-watching-him.
I watch because I know what's coming next and then it happens, the shove. A little kid down and then, crying.
"Last time, the mom took him home to teach him a lesson." My friend whispers to me.
"Unbelievable, " I whisper back.
Judging the Potty Talk
He's backed up against the wall at a birthday party, my son in his adorable Livie and Luca shoes. A few months shy of three with a blossoming personality, and yet, there he is, helpless and crying as two 4-year-old girls hurl insults at him. "You're stupid!" they yell meanly. "You can't do that, poop baby!"
"That's not a nice thing to say," I admonish, scooping up my "baby." How dare they? What brats! Where are the parents?
I carry my teary eyed son over to my husband and say, "You should hear the words that are coming out of the mouths of those very little girls!"
Judging those Scary Big Kids
At the park, I see them coming, the big boys. It's the school age kids with their big hands and big feet. They're like a herd of stampeding cape buffalo and they're heading right toward us. There's nothing malicious about them, they're just well, big...and rambunctious and under supervised. I stare up at the play structure where my sweet 3-year-old twins are making their way up.
"Get down here now, " I order, panicked. "RIGHT NOW!"
My kids pretend they don't hear me and continue playing. The herd is fast approaching and I feel I have no choice but to go in and save my babies!
The Tables Have Turned
That was all THEN of course, pre-age 3 and even pre-age 4. My 4.5-year-old twins grew bigger and I've been having a lot of run ins with my old friend karma who has a very good memory.
Revisiting the Bully
That bully at the gym? He turned into my kids; or rather my kids turned into him. They've shoved kids at preschool, they've shoved each other, they've shoved ME. Now when I see a kid acting a bit aggressive, I don't let my inner thoughts stray toward blaming the parents. Sure, the parents might be at fault (and sometimes, my boys' bad behavior has been my fault), but instead, I try to sympathize because I've been there, oh, how I've been there. Rest assured, I am working on it.
Potty Mouth Redux
Remember those potty mouthed girls? I am now the exasperated mother of potty mouthed boys. One of the most versatile words in their vocabulary is the word poop. It's a noun: You are a poop! It's an adjective: You are a poop face! It's an expletive: Oh, poop! It's sometimes all of the above: You are a poo poo poop! Sometimes, for emphasis, it's said with a shove (see above) and all I can do is feel...exasperated. Then there's the word stupid. The moment one of my kids says it, his brother uses that as permission to repeat said word to me a hundred times while tattle telling. To the moms of younger kids who bristle when they heard my kids call each other "you stupid poop," I apologize. I bristled, too, when my kids were younger.
My Big Scary Kids
Those big scary kids at the park? They're still there, only they're my kids now. Suddenly, we're the ones who send moms of toddlers fleeing to the safety of the gated parks. The other day at the big kid play structure, a mom had been gently pushing her toddler on some spinning contraption when she noticed our arrival. "The big kids are here, let's go, " she told her daughter, lifting her to safety. My boys hadn't uttered a potty mouth word or shoved each other or anything. Their mere presence was enough to invoke fear in the eyes of the other mom. I realize it's a safety thing, but in fact, neither of us had kids in the recommended 5-12 age range for the big kids' area. Yet my kids have long outgrown the little kids area, with its gated fence. We don't mean to intimidate you, toddler mom, but we know how it is. We were there, too, once.
Keeping Sanctimommy at Bay
To the moms of younger kids who shoot me the disapproving looks when you see my boys acting like 4.5-year-old boys, just you wait. To the moms of slightly older kids who I find myself judging, please forgive me. I'm trying hard to keep my inner sanctimommy at bay, especially when my loyal friend karma is in hot pursuit. She's always chasing sanctimommy. I better go, karma is nipping at my high heels.
Original post to Mad About Multiples. Akemi/svtwinmom also blogs at Chalk and Cheese Chronicles and svmoms where she tries her best to limit her snide remarks. She's having a hard time, however, keeping those snide remarks at bay on Twitter.
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