Mad About Multiples!

Raising Octuplets – How Would You Divide Your Attention?

I’m sure you’ve read this story. In case you haven’t, check it out here. While the rumors are flying around about the mother being a single one with 6 children already and her parents living with her to help out, I still have to wonder about raising the children. There’s always a lot of media attention around the births and survival of multiple newborns but what about beyond (and her beyond is rumored to already include 6 children)?

A constant concern I have with my own twins is that of equally splitting my attention between the two on whatever activity it might be - reading, writing, crafting, riding a bike or whatever. I worry that I should spend more time with one twin on reading while the other needs more attention with writing. I worry that if I replace an outgrown pair of shoes for one twin, that the other (whose shoes are perfectly fine) may feel slighted. And if I had 8 children (or 14 according to some of the news stories), how would I ever consider that my children would be getting enough time with me?

One of the things my husband and I know that we need to do more often, is spend one-on-one time with each of our twins. Unfortunately, it’s far too easy to do things all together as a family. It’s far easier to plan things together than apart. How would this mother find the time to do that?

Infertility treatments leading to twins, triplets...octuplets?

It is all over the news today - octuplets (that is 8 babies, for those of you who are trying to count here...) born to a California single mom...who reportedly already has 6 kids. Wowie!

My own twins were born as a result of fertility treatments. At 30 years old, I was 2 years out from cancer treatment and, although I had the go-ahead from my oncology doctors to try to get pregnant, my body did not seem to be responding. After almost losing my life to lymphoma, I was looking for a fast track to motherhood. Tracking my cycle on a daily basis was incredibly taxing and I was in "carpe diem" mode. I wanted this so badly! So I headed back to Stanford, this time not to the cancer center, but to the fertility center. My husband and I underwent all the tests and everything was fine. The theory was that my egss were "old" due to the chemo I underwent. I did clomid for 3 months - nothing. We decided to go for bigger guns and do IUI (intrauterine insemination) with Gonal-F injectable drugs. The first cycle, my body finally responded. I had 9 - NINE! - eggs ready to go. 5 of them looked to be a good size. As our doctor told us this news, my husband and I immediately agreed with her suggestion to abandon this cycle (well, we actually didn't abandon it, but they gave me the HSF shot to trigger ovulation early, being fairly certain that nothing would probably take, or if anything, one would take). We didn't want to be put in the situation of having to choose between selective reduction (what a lovely term) or to carry way too many babies.  Not for me, thank you very much. As predicted, nothing took. The next cycle, we had 2 good eggs and they both took. Voila - twins!

It turns out that maybe I didn't "need" fertility treatments after all. I did respond very well to the drugs. Maybe it was a matter of getting a kick-start, after having been in temporary menopause from the chemo. Maybe it was a matter of relaxing. Who knows. But I had a surprise pregnancy 19 months after the twins were born. It was a beautiful thing and now I have 3 children - if you would have told me when I began fertility treatments that I would have 3 kids 3-years-old and under, I would have said you were crazy. But things happen. Life happens. (We're done now, by the way.)

I don't know the details about this octuplet mom. I don't know how she got herself in the situation or what I would do if I were in her shoes (although, for me, that is tough to imagine...). There actually are people who have high-order multiple births naturally, without fertility treatments - rare, but true. I'm guessing she did undergo fertility treatments - there are some rumors that a sperm donor was used - and maybe she is one of those people who responds very, very well to those drugs. Here's what I do know - I know that she will need A LOT of help.

I can see both sides of the ethical debate that is brewing. On the one hand, one adult taking care of 14 children (do the math!) seems completely irresponsible. She CANNOT do it on her own, so who will be paying for it? The state? Corporations who sponsor her? A TV show? Then again, why is it any of my business - any of the public's business. Having children should be a personal affair. But then, how can it be private and personal when it will affect - and burden - the public?

See MomLogic's article looking for more information about this mom, as well as Silicon Valley Moms Group network posts here on LA Moms Blog and here on Chicago Moms Blog.

Original Mad About Multiples post. Linsey can be found at her family blog Me Too You and at Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

Multiples who need a helping hand

This story is an extreme example of what Gemini Crickets philanthropy program strives to assist with - to help families of multiples who need a helping hand. Read the Washington post story here of a mom of quintuplets whose husband is stationed overseas. 

Giveaway time at Mad About Multiples - Breastfeeding

We are getting ready for our very informative New & Expectant Parents Meeting on Feeding (Breastfeeding, Bottle Feeding, Pumping, Formula Feeding) next Wednesday, January 14th - breastfeeding, formula feeding, pumping, and combinations of all of the above. I know when I was pregnant with twins, it was tough to find twin-specific breastfeeding classes, so this is one not to miss if you are expecting twins or have new twins!

Today, we have some great breastfeeding and bottle feeding items to give away. 

To enter:
We will have one winner in this giveaway that will be chosen by random. To enter to win, please leave a comment below telling us:

What is your biggest feeding struggle (if you have babies) or worry (if you are expecting)?

The giveaway (via comments on this site) will end on Wednesday, Jan 14th at 5:00pm PST.

For another chance to win:
Come to the meeting on Wednesday night for another chance to win! 

The giveaway items are:

"Mama Knows Breast" book by Andi Silverman - From the website: "'Mama Knows Breast: A Beginner's Guide To Breastfeeding' is the fun breastfeeding book. The book that tells you how to start, and even enjoy, breastfeeding. This is the book to buy for your sister, your best friend, your co-worker. It's even got the Lamaze International stamp of approval. So go ahead, buy a copy! No, make that two. Click on this link at Amazon to order yours right now." Disclaimer: while there is some twin-specific information in the book, this is mainly a general information breastfeeding book. Also be sure to check out Andi's blog at www.mamaknowsbreast.com.

MilkScreen - Sometimes, a mom...and especially a mom of  multiples, there may be a special event or a time when you just, well...need a drink! Here's a "simple, two-minute test that detects alcohol in breast milk." If you do have a drink, here's a way for you to actually test to see if its safe to breastfeed your babies (or pump milk to give them later) or if you need to wait longer. Do your reasearch - available on the www.milkscreen-moms.com website - and check it out. Wow. 

Adiri Natural Nurser baby bottle - A bottle shaped like a breast. Really, what more can you say? Well...here's what the website says: "Designed with the help of doctors, moms and lactation consultants, The Adiri™ Natural Nurser™ Ultimate Baby Bottle is soft, safe and simple. With an easy to use and dishwasher safe Fill, Twist and Feed™ system, the only nipple truly shaped like a mother's breast, soft polycarbonate-free and bisphenol-A free materials, and a unique Petal™ vent that helps reduce colic, the Adiri Natural Nurser enables the ultimate safe bottlefeeding experience."

Best of luck in the giveaway - and happy feeding!

 

Join us for our New & Expectant Parents Meeting on Feeding (Breastfeeding, Bottle Feeding, Pumping, Formula Feeding) next Wednesday, Janaury 14th

Another great meeting is coming up!  Before our General Meeting next week on Preschool, Gemini Crickets' will host our New & Expectant Parents Meeting next Wednesday, January 14th at 6:15pm at Saratoga Library and our topic will be Feeding for Multiples - breastfeeding, bottle feeding, pumping, formula feeding, combinations of the above - we'll cover it all! - (click here for the details).  Xochitl F., one of Gemini Crickets New & Expectant Parent Liaisons and mom of 2-year-old twin boys, joins us today to tell us her "breastfeeding success story: co-experienced by Fox and Wolfgang F. (2-years-old)."

For more breastfeeding stories, see the following past Mad About Multiples posts:

• The First Time I Didn't Log a Poop
• To Nurse or Not To Nurse...That is the Dilemma
• Breastfeeding in the NICU - It Can (or May Not) Be Done

Here is Xochitl's story:

I want to start my nursing experience on a positive note, before I scare or intimidate future breast feeding moms. I want moms to know that I exclusively breast fed both my twins until the age of 13 months and never had to use formula to supplement. So, yes you can do it!!

I previously wrote in my journal about my experience and went back to re-read what I was feeling after realizing I could breast feed both my twins with ease and this is what I had to say, "Nursing my twin boys is the most successful thing I've ever accomplished in my life.  I've never been more proud of myself, because it was work and it was very hard and I pulled through.  Now I want to help other moms be successful and be able to feel the joy of nursing twins."

Join us for our General Meeting next Wednesday, January 14th for a Preschool Panel

As we prepare for Gemini Crickets' upcoming General Meeting next Wednesday, January 14th at 7:30pm at Saratoga Library which will feature a panel discussion on preschool for multiples (click here for the details), Katja W., one of Gemini Crickets Co-Vice Presidents and mom of 3-year-old twin girls, joins us today to tell us about her "preschool hunt."

Last year at this time, I started to freak out because I realized that I was about to make the biggest decision about my twin girls' lives ever: Where do I send them to preschool?

At least, the amount of time, thoughts and gray hair that went into it, would have easily made you think that it was that big of a decision. But, to be fair to myself, it might not be a life altering decision, but it can be pretty daunting to choose between all the options that are out there: developmental vs. academic or language immersion? Montessori or Waldorf, anybody?